Keeth Stone, Chief Beverage Technician, S/V The Usual Suspects.
Rummer Recipes are considered by many to be the prime intellectual property of the boat.
Recipes are considered by some to be more vital than navigational skills, and the ingredients to be more valuable
than charts – no vessel should leave port without them.
Every crew member should
be tutored in the use of the tools and given every opportunity
to build their experience by practicing the application of the
art. The enjoyment quotient of your trip will be directly correlated
with the crew’s proficiency in these areas.
There are plenty of bartending
books and mixology guides available for reference, and each of
them have a whole section devoted to rum-based drinks. The
better books provide a unique tip or recipe and an
occasional one will have an interesting anecdote or reference
to the history of some of the more notable combinations.
For those who learn better by doing than by reading,
many Universities, Colleges, and Personal Interest Education
organizations offer courses on the subject, usually with a
high practical or “lab” component. As with learning anything new, practicing at home
between classes is highly recommended. Tutors can be an excellent method to speed up the
learning curve or overcome the obstacles that block learning
the more difficult concepts, but shop around – the person
with the most experience in the field is not necessarily the
We hope that our readers will enjoy the following Usual Suspects recipes and other
is our finest recipe and the inspiration to the verse of the
Originally developed by our H'ors D'oeuvres Chef and
passed on to the Chief Beverage Technician for further
dissemination. All Suspects continue to work at perfecting
their delivery of this classic bevy.
Admittedly, it’s hard to screw up a Rummer, but
it’s harder to get the ingredients just right so it is
worthy of being enjoyed as The Rum Before Sundown.
Here’s what to do:
* * *
from fine, old dark rum, this is a simple recipe that can be
served with or without ice.
one boat and fill with friends.
everyone has more fun than they deserve.
with lots of sun, activity, and laughter.
sure that lots of stories are told, and new ones developed.
at the end of the day down below, out of the wind, when
ready for bed.
one or two fingers of Mount Gay Extra
Old Barbados Rum in a
tumbler and add one piece of ice and/or a hint of lime as
recount the days highlights.
the moment, the taste, and the warmth.
into bed and enjoy a deep restful slumber.
* * *
recommended for beginners.
This is a recipe for professionals.
Full Bottle Rummer is a stealth recipe disguised as a weak bevy.
are only two circumstances under which this recipe should be
- If you are the new Beverage
Technician on board – this
will gain you respect
- If you are executing a mutiny – this will incapacitate
with a full 26 oz. bottle of Mount Gay Eclipse Barbados
that there is a backup supply of several 40 oz. bottles of
the same fine rum.
the customary four tall 16 oz.+ glasses with lots of ice.
four fingers of Mount Gay Eclipse
Barbados Rum in each glass.
fruit juices as directed for The Rum Before Sundown and
squeeze in a generous amount of lime, but be sure to leave
about four fingers of freeboard so there is room for
up one glass through the companionway and ask target(s)
to take a sip and provide feedback.
Prompt with leading questions implying a low rum
content if necessary.
In the rare event that the drinks are not rejected,
pretend to taste your own and insist that they be
one finger of rum slowly over the ice and stir gently
enough to disperse the new rum through only the top layer
of juice without disturbing the rum on the bottom.
in more lime. Do not stir.
only one drink for testing and ask the most dissatisfied
person to take a sip and provide an opinion.
Repeat deceit tactics to recover the test drink if
one more finger of rum slowly over the ice and stir gently
enough to disperse the new rum through the top layer of
in more lime. Do not stir.
return only one drink for testing to the most dissatisfied
person and repeat deceit tactics if necessary to recover
the test glass.
the rest of what was moments ago, a full bottle of rum, equally
amongst the four glasses. Squeeze in more lime and gently
stir into the top layer of juice.
with lime quarter. (The newest addition of rum will make
the drink taste stronger and should meet with the approval
of the target(s) -
the layer of rum lurking at the bottom of the glass
will kick in later and pack that extra punch.)
all but your own glass up through the companionway and
declare that the drinks should now be fine, then pass the empty rum bottle to the most
dissatisfied person (usually the skipper) as you ascend
from below with your drink in the other hand.
bringing the empty rum bottle up on deck, the target(s)
will make the connection with the number of times the test
glass went down for “correction” and will realize they
are “going down”. This will command a great deal of
respect from them.
note that if you are serving the Class 2 version of this recipe,
it may be to your advantage not to display the empty bottle as
it might alert the targets to their impending state of
may also wish to retain possession of the empty bottle in the
event of hand-to-hand combat.
strongly recommend delaying the consumption of your own drink
until after the mutiny is over.
* * *
The Crucifixion Rummer
Pan, Pan! Hazard to
sailors to be found in Martinique.
Mauny is not a rum. Engage
at your peril. Avoid
at all costs.
you finish a whole glass of this stuff at dinner, it will become
the Last Supper.
a public service announcement, The Usual Suspects recommend
against the consumption of
a brand of spirits available in Martinique called La
Mauny, that purports to be rum.
Do not use this in any Rummer recipe.
We also recommend against the use of this product as a
solvent unless applied above the water line, and with the
heaviest of protective clothing.
The product can be readily identified by it’s logo,
which appears at first to depict a plantation worker carrying a
bundle of sugar cane, but in
fact depicts you being nailed to a cross after only a few sips.
Flush your system with plenty of alternate beverages if
* * *
We also have it on good authority that
rum in Guadeloupe should be
avoided. Don Boyd & Joni Crosby from the S/V
Calls (be sure to visit their Website)
provide the following description:
fact, the local rum here is not available in North
America. We discovered that the reason for this is because the rum
here is VERY bad!!! After distilling the cane, filtering
and redistilling it, the Guadelopueans and Martiniquean rum
people force goats with mouthfuls of cud to spit into the
mixture to give each and every drop of rum a heavy grassy flavor.
The mixture is then strained through the old socks of
migrant Haitian workers and bottled.
The key word on the bottle to let you know that a
perfectly good rum has been strained through a sock and had
goat cud added is "Agricole". So a bottle with the
words "Rhum Agricole" on the label is not a rum to
smuggle home next time you visit. It is not even as
drinkable as "Gros Gin" a Gin with Cow cud added
and popular in Holland and Quebec.“
their pug dog Mik was not injured in this encounter. We concur with Don’s conclusion to stick to wine on French
islands and avoid their rum at all costs.
To read the full story, check out the last two
paragraphs of Installment
28 - June 16, '98)
* * *
to popular belief, this is more of a delivery technique than a
technical assistance from Prime Suspect G.
Paperman, our senior
technical consultant on damn near everything, the Splash 'n Go bevy service was derived from the very effective refueling
strategy employed by successful NASCAR auto racing teams.
This technique can be applied to any bevy and is
particularly well suited to The Rummer.
Jeff Gordon receives a Splash
'n Go Rummer
and a full tank of gas.
objective of the Splash 'n Go is to get in one last refill quickly
before the current activity at hand changes. (For example,
completing cocktail hour and getting ready for dinner, or
finishing lunch and following the Customs & Immigration
officers back to their office.)
key elements to a successful Splash 'n Go are speed and volume.
Sometimes either or both of these elements require the
crew to modify the conventional recipe to achieve the
objective. This is where a decline in quality may be experienced.
But with practice, a good Beverage Technician will learn how to judge the
actual time available, the volumes required (although this is
rarely affected by time,) and what time saving modifications to
employ to make to the recipe with minimal negative impact on
taste. If you are truly enjoying your cruising vacation, there will
be no discernable difference between the Splash ' Go and
Before Sundown (see also - Just One More … and Then I Gotta
* * *
One More … and Then I Gotta Go
the SlumberRummer™, there is no question that this is not a
recipe. Just One
More… and Then I Gotta Go is definitely a state of being,
inspired by the name of a sport fishing boat at the Milwaukee Yacht
a big sport fishing boat with multiple
flying bridges, eight-foot high wall-to-wall patio doors opening
onto an aft platform bigger than most dance floors, lawn chair
seating for 12, and a permanently mounted monster cooler that
clearly has never seen a fish. From the cobwebs, the water
marks on the hull, the way the boat is tied up at the dock, and
the patio lanterns, it's obvious that this boat
rarely leaves the dock. It is also undoubtedly owned and crewed by
real characters! Then imagine noticing the name “Just One
More …” in bold letters down the side of the boat, “and Then I Gotta Go” written across the stern.
One More … and
Then I Gotta Go is a state of being that becomes a method of
achieving the same thing as a Splash 'n Go, but without the
rush or shortfall in the quality of the drink, and
without having to commit yourself to a change in activity (as
this expression can be employed as an embedded loop.)
perhaps, the cheesehead version of “Irie”.
* * *
We hope you have enjoyed our recipes, and
encourage every cruiser to develop a rich inventory of prime
Be sure to try new recipes of your own concoction, as well
as those prepared by others that hit the right spot.
Perhaps you have one or two favorites you would like to
share with us? We’d
be delighted to field-test them. Please pass them on, or better yet,
invite us over so we can try the real thing prepared exactly the
way you like them.