I have just read Relaxation 101 and am immediately going down to Human Resources to hand in my resignation.  There.  It felt good to say it.  I’m not going to do it (yet).  But it did feel good to say it.  I can still go on vacation.

I am in fact going on vacation in early September, a sailing adventure in Greece that is part of a large flotilla arranged through the Ottawa Sailing and Power-Boating School.  They are associated with the yacht club where we keep our boat, the  Britannia Yacht Club in Ottawa.  Our boat is Glendoon - a Tanzer 22. 

There are now 44 people going!  Huge!  We’ll be spread over 7 boats I think.  There are two charter company supplied captains going who’ll be on boats with the less experienced sailors, but they will be resources with local knowledge (buoy’s out, watch for wicked cross-wind here, great restaurant there) for all of us. 

There are going to be six on our boat; two couples including my wife Lil and I, and two singles.  We know each other well and get along well together.  The boat in Greece is, we are told, a 2001 Beneteau 461, 4 cabin model.  We’re leaving on the 11th of this month, spending a couple of days hanging around Athens and boarding the boats on the 15th for two weeks.  And I am going to make sure my crew-mates read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest every pearly word of wisdom in Relaxation 101.

We’ll cover about 500 nm in a clock-wise direction through the Cyclades during those two weeks mostly in day-hops with a night off the boat in Santorini.  Most nights will be spent med-moored in harbor.  The really big sailing challenge will be a mooring challenge, I think.  Apparently it can be a little hairy trying to back these puppies down into a slot along the harbor wall when the wind is blowing.  Scary but an interesting challenge.

It’s Wednesday the 5th of September and there are just six days to go until we fly out of Dorval (Montreal) for Athens.  We’re going to be gone for three weeks but the amount of preparation we’re involved in makes it seem like we’re planning on going for three years!  Is this just wishful thinking?

About this time last week I consolidated the five or six small lists I had kicking around in notebooks, shorts pockets, and on the refrigerator, etc. into one honkin’ master list and almost had to change my underwear!  I guess I can cross jet-setter off my list of possible career options since my home life is complicated enough to make  “just taking off ” a pipe dream.  And Lil and I don’t even have kids.

The other pre-trip shocker is the sheer volume of money we seem to be shoveling into the hands of local merchants.  $30 worth of batteries;  $150 worth of film; Another $50 at Mountain Equipment Co-op on top of the other $150 we’ve already spent there;  $70 at Wal-Mart;...  It’s the “List That Ate New York.”  Do we really need all this stuff?  Individually, each item seems necessary.  Like, if we don’t have it then we’ll wish we did at some point and since we’re going all that way...  But, collectively, Lil and I seem to be trying to forestall the current downturn in the global economy by the sheer force of our spending habits.

There is only one way to handle this.  Come home.  Unload the car.  Head for the liquor cabinet and grab the Mount Gay.  Fill large glass to maximum with ice.  Pour Mount Gay liberally over ice.  Add orange juice, pineapple juice and juice of half a lime.  Peace at last.  Better living through chemistry.  All praise the Rummer.   I ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ bank account!

About the Rummer.  I’ve been drinking them all summer.  I’m usually a predominantly beer and wine man but those mommas are seductive.  We’ve got these large, large, high quality, Ikea-inspired, plastic glasses in delightful acid-trip colors that will take about three pound of ice each.  Filled with the requisite liquids they seem to glow with this beautiful kodachromic light.  I’ve been turning friends on, winning converts, spreading the Gospel.

My approach, I must admit, is unscientific, kinda zen.  I free-pour everything.  They’re never the same way twice.  No Rummer is ever bad but some reach a kind of sublime perfection that is all the sweeter because it’s not exactly repeatable.  I may have jumped the gun, though.  The zen-master is supposed to embrace discipline in the early stages so as to be able to internalize and then surpass it later on.  I have skipped this stage.  Greedy grasshopper!

I plan to tell Round Man that, at the moment, I stir a low-random number of times with the straw.  Methinks I should revisit the recipe section.  I’m torn, though, on a philosophical level.  Should I keep pursuing the touchy-feely left-brain pursuit of the Rummer’s dharma (i.e. perfection by indirection)?  Or should I adopt a more rigorous and standardized approach and then get all Age-of-Aquarius once I’ve mastered it?  The latter is more authentically zen and will, in the long run, produce a greater percentage of excellent Rummers but I’m loathe to give up the chance of those one in three or four or so Rummers that just shine head and shoulders above the others in the meantime.  Hmmm...

Meanwhile the list must be shouldered.  It’s finally stopped growing except for little splutters here and there but it’s still long.  Mow the lawn before leaving.  Get approval for inflatable PFDs.  Farm out the dogs to beleaguered family members.  Clean house extensively before arrival of house sitter.  Arrange transportation to the pick-up point. Buy traveler’s cheques.  Buy drachma.  Learn how to say “Please”, “Thank You”,  “May I have a Rummer?” and “Where is the bathroom” in Greek.  Pick up passports.  Pick up digital camera from friend.  Et cetera.  Et cetera.  Et cetera...

And so it goes. 

* * *

Part 2 of The Greek Islands, W.I. will be published in the November 1 update of The Usual Suspects.